The Quest for Regrets ( Part 2 )

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The Quest for Regrets ( Part 2 ) Empty The Quest for Regrets ( Part 2 )

Post by minstrelofmyths on Wed Apr 01, 2015 6:37 am

(( Short story format. Song listened to while writing; audiomachine life chronicles ))

Shimmering light, shimmering snow, wind swept snow covered landscape of buried secrets. Silence, but whisper of snow flakes that kissed upon the stone sentinels that stood but a testament of what was remembered, yet with a desperate sounding roar was in an painful echo wishing to be forgotten they trembled in that shade before them. Shaking the ice that had formed on snow laden branches, how sharp a sound that broken through dreams not had, that a living heart once pinned for. That man had crumbled under upon but a fragment of a memory in this lost world. Pale shades of grey, white, and blues, a lost vividness to reconcile. Regrets… the shattered soul had come in search of, was it any surprise when they were found? Haunted pillars of ice, a shroud of death, whispers of what once was and still the mind lacked a solace upon that roar that silenced the wind’s howling for that moment that stood still. A fist thrown to the ground cracking the intricate stone that paved the roads, followed by another, and another blow, destruction was all that it was accomplishing, yet unnoticed in the world that had been obliterated.

~ What did that particular rock do to you brother? ~ The spirit had been watching his brother unravel, kept his distance for some time while watching the anger unleashed upon the walk way leading to what once was Quetz’lun’s altar. He had watched as his brother’s control slipping for some time under the influence of the presence he had kept. Yet he had no fear of his brother’s wrath, for he was already beyond his reach.  Yet as Ra’rhuk’s gaze slowly rose from the road to look at him he did put his corporeal hands up in surrender.

" Zor’din, now is not the time for jests. “ Ra’rhuk had that deadly tone his voice.

~ It wasn’t exactly a joke… So… I’m not usually the one to tell you told you so. Well yes I am, but, in any case. I knew it had to be the girl that got you so worked up. ~ Zor’din smiled but did not snicker like he usually did.

" You were wrong… " Ra’rhuk bared his many fang’s in the spirit’s direction as he rose up and then with a wave of his hand called for his mount.

~ That clarified everything, very enlightening Bear… Please do continue onward in silence. That outburst was caused by absolutely no reason at all. ~ Zor’din held so much sarcasm upon his tone as he began to follow after Ra’rhuk, he was certain his brother would catch it. ~ Why are you running away from here? ~ Zor’din asked as Ra was causing his steed to steer clear of the altar and move at hastened pace through the snow covered landscape.

" I’m not running away. " Ra’rhuk stated flatly.

~ Right you’re not, the stone beast is.~ Zor’din chided, but then continued on a more serious note. ~ What happened back there?~

" I’m broken… " Ra’rhuk made a sound causing the hearth steed to stop in it’s tacks causing the snow to billow out in a cloud in front. Ra hopped out of the saddle and proceeded to a burgundy hued tree. He punched that as well, with enough force to cause his fist to be embedded within the bark of the tree trunk.

~ Would you stop punching things?! I get it, you’re pissed but come on! It doesn’t make you feel any better, it’s needless destruction. You’re not broken, you might be a ’ little unstable ’ being in the blood presence so long, but certainly not broken.~  

" She left me… "  Ra’rhuk stated as he was trying to pull his hand free from the bark.

~ Aha I knew it! ~ Zor’din exclaimed attempting to keep his ghostly expression straight.

" Not her, Elle… "  There it went, with a hard pull his fist was dislodged from the trunk of the tree.

~ This is a… development. Snarky elf, eh? Who would have figured that? Sorry to say, I called dibs long time before you even met her.~  Zor’din smirked.

Ra’rhuk eyed his brother. ” It’s not as you are insinuating, dumb ass… there are no dibs to be made. ” He grunted then leaned against the tree as if he needed the support.

~ Well this sudden outburst, and not explaining is leading me to draw to all my own conclusions. What to do? What to do? Hmmm? ~ He tapped to his chin with a see through finger. ~ You could just start talking and I wouldn’t have to speculate what YOU are meaning. ~

Ra’rhuk took an unnecessary breath and then exhaled it slowly. ” The note… ”

~ Okay then, what about the note?~ He had seen it left on the altar’s floor.

" She could have waited, until… " Ra’rhuk was struggling to sort what he was feeling out.

~ I could have not lost my head when I charged at Raji’din… but the living make mistakes, Bear. We’re out here looking for her, just like I told you to do. She must have made it to the wyvern  flyer and bailed on you to look for her friends.  She’s more likely to know where they are at then you, it hasn’t been even a week, three days. They’re probably spending all that hard earned cash on booze and women. You’re just having trouble rationalizing because in this state you’re gaining more then what you are used to. ~ Zor’din was attempting rationalize for him.

" I doubt she would have done that to anyone else…. " His brow dipped, as he was thinking on it.

~ What would cause you to say that? ~ Alright Bear was willing to talk even if it was like pulling teeth, might as well hear his point of view.

" What living person tells another living person, they will not go anywhere without them but do anyway? "  Ra’rhuk questioned.

~ All of them do… I did, we did… How many times did we ditch Kor’akk because what seemed more important to us at the time that came up, with a friend, with a female, huh? ~  Spectral brow waggle.

" Exactly… more important… Why? It is because I lack, in what they need me to be. I see other’s in my condition, seeming to lack in nothing, of course there is the other side of the spectrum. There is something within that is wanting to be Potion Rock all the time, someone seen as important in at least presence. Ridiculous as it is, it has come upon me with watching over Squirrel, this desire to be included in living lives even if it is a small portion. Now he is sick, I am put on further restrictions, I am left with a note… once again I have lost my purpose. As hard as I attempt to be as they are I always lack where they need it most. I lack to understand much, when I recall it being much easier, I struggle over the obvious and absurd. " He waved his hand to lead his brother along, unnecessary but he did anyway. Taking up the reins he led his steed onward behind him.

~ Oh, no, no, you are not walking on that. We are touching on something here. What is it that is making you so irritated, what is making you this? ~ He made a motion of his hand in a up and down movement in Ra’rhuk’s direction. ~ Because it is shoveltusk shit, you are without purpose and you know it. Orrrrr I would be here, brother. Whatever it is, whatever you are going through we do it together.  ~

Ra’rhuk was trudging onward in the snow drifts in silence, looking  for regrets, looking for that something that touched what it was like once to be living, all he could find was pain and anger. He came up short in Drak’Mabwa, just pausing looking over the destruction, before moving towards the altar with the many steps. ” How was any of this fair, just, with honor, or pride? Many years I have contemplated these things since I was free of that cold grasp on my mind. It was pointless, it proved nothing, my life was meaningless except to myself. My whole existence depresses the living, frightens them now what I represent. I do not hear the clock ticking away the hours as they do, as I see on our brother’s countenance. They live, they died, just as we did, with such exuberance, to touch lives even in the smallest of manners seems like… a crime. I know I lack, but is it wrong for me to attempt that breaching gap of expanse between us? I do not want to be put back in the hull of a ship watching cargo, I do not wish to be a mindless tool for them when it comes to dealing out their judgement. ” His head hung then rose slowly to face the empty altar, the shrine of the bear.

~ Brother… what you are feeling is guilt, regret… It is alright to question your purpose, but you are never without one. ~ Zor’din attempted to show compassion.

" You are wrong, it is pain, anger, and irritation. " He had turned his head and looked to the image his brother portrayed with a low growl in warning replacing the reins in their rightful position on the horn of the saddle. " I bled upon these steps amongst those that remained in virtue. " He began walking forward up the stairs to the altar itself. " Those that had vowed fealty, we prayed, we mourned, we pleaded for Rhunok to hear us, to not abandon his people. To give him strength to return to those that were faithful when all else was lost, our cries went unanswered. Silence still, he is gone from this realm perhaps it is only I that recall his name. What I would have sacrificed then for the redemption of the lost, I would do now. Yet I am not his child any longer, damned the day the choice of an honorable death was ripped from me. I am angry, I was his warrior, I died a warrior’s death, and still the sacrifice was not enough! I followed the rites, I followed the ways, what had I done in life to deserve such a fall from his graces, that even death would be ripped from me? Cursed are we to suffer and endure, without solace of the agony that continues. No knowledge, no wisdom, I could have gained in value to pass on in life, no mate, nor children, or natural order, it was taken too soon from us, and what I have left is fragments of that potential that had been lost to me.  I had once thought that redemption could be found, I believed in your words because I needed to believe in them, no longer do they hold an interest.  I am failing in what I thought I could endure. I grow… weary. " He dropped to his knees, and had leaned forward in a low bow touching his forehead to the flooring.

~ Ra’rhuk, it was not your fault that you were fighting that day the prophets, had betrayed all  as they did. You’ve carried this for far too long, that you cannot even recognize it, and that too is not your fault. They have forgiven us, Har’koa welcomes her champions, and Rhunok he welcomes you home as well. The loa know your love, your mother knows those words passed onto her were of desperation, Hisani knows that you adored her every movement. They cannot reach you, so they send reminders that you can see. Remember little Kuru, the way she looked at you with her arms reaching high, to be put on your shoulders? It is very much the same with our brother’s child. Remember how your mother sang? it is very much like how sweet the elf’s voice is like on that one song that she sings. Our older brother’s habits in drinks, dance, females, are very much like Chin and Sips. Hell if I know who the Prince represents, someone from the fifth regiment of Mam’toth, that seemed to always expose his ass to the enemy. ~ Zor’din repressed his laugh as he had noticed his brother had risen and was actually paying attention to him. ~ Do not feel guilty that you wish to be apart of that… Cursed as we are there are reasons. Perhaps, guilt, anger, frustration, and irritation you can explore further, as it is something close to regretting. We both are weary… yet we continue. They will live, they will struggle where we cannot fully understand, they will grow old before our eyes, they will out age our minds, they will die. Our purpose is to ensure they will always have the freedom to do that, we will continue to fight in the hours they cannot, watch the cargo in the hull of the ship, and appreciate the time they do choose to grace our presence. Until that day we are no more… ~ Zor’din’s image came to sit besides Ra’rhuk quietly as his brother thought.

" I am guilty for begrudging their limitations, as I do my own. " Ra’rhuk decided.

~ Happy guilt day. ~ Zor’din snickered.

" You are not as funny as you believe yourself to be. " Ra’rhuk smirked.

~ You are one to talk. ~ Zor’din removed his detachable spirit head and held in the crook bed of his arm.

Ra’rhuk wasn’t surprised by the action, nor to his brothers words. ” I do not know what to do with this guilt. “

~ Talk about it, express it, if you feel something let it be known. I would say the best bet is the priestess you are fond of. ~ Zor’din’s hand picked through his spirit hair, the ghostly waves that were at one time red.

" She has helped me before, she is a good chaperone. As well as being aware of my limitations. " Ra’rhuk considered thoughtfully.

~ I enjoy how everyone looks at you while in her company… heh heh heh… you should play on that some more. You may not notice, but they believe that the two of you are fixated on each other.  I do not see that same appeal that you once expressed, but there is a odd attraction there. ~ He couldn’t help himself.

" I assure you it is not that deep… It is a game. She allowed me to see color, how many years has it been? I am losing memory brother, I do not recall as vividly as I once had. I cannot… recall the color of Hisani’s eyes. It pains me. If I could have a chance to recall that even at a risk, I … " He waved it off.  " Eh, there has been indication that she may feel something for me, so before I will even ask for her aid, I will make certain by her oath that there is not affections there. "

~ As you say… So what do we do now? ~ Zor’din asked as he replaced his head on his neck like it was a cap with a twist.

" We wait for Elle’s return, she said she would come back. " Ra’rhuk stated flatly looking out into the snow beyond his hearth steed.

~ If you insist… I really think we should wait it out in the city. That way you’ll have more lively company, then this tomb. ~ Zor’din snickered floating off his way.

Ra’rhuk had a long time reflecting until he received a mail notification, a letter had been delivered simple as it was it gave no indication of illness, or harm, nor a want for his presence. Days passed, conversations revealed that others had seen his friends in good spirits and presence no indication that things had gone wrong. He had no concern other the his placement at his job, he continued to feel like he was no longer needed. In the process of time continuing he had gained an audience with the priestess to investigate his want to see the past, as well as confirm there was a lack of affection or an attachment towards him. He decided it was the best course for him to take to have the priestess conduct the experiment, but words were passed that it would take time to prepare. Time passed, ticking away of the hours and the days, then he received a brief interaction with Brix’tul, whom seemed well enough, wishing for coffee, speaking that Elle was well. The words he wished to express remained silent, although Zor’din was making a nuisance of himself to cause Ra’rhuk to say more then he would. Ty spoke to Ra’rhuk about Zinaji not needing a body guard. Tas in the while seemed to have disappeared from words of a friend named Varn.  The usual city mayhem in the between, conversations and work for the Horde. Yet Rock continued in silence to question his placement, to question his worth as body guard, a friend, amongst those he valued. What he tried to express to Elle, yet his words had came out wrong. Tas returned bruised, stiff, but whole, his concerns had tapered down. Squirrel remained ill, it put him more on edge uncertain if his charge was actually ill or not. Trying to busy himself he looked to watch over others during this time, and they voiced his behavior was… disturbing.  He decided that it would be for the best to avoid being in his blood presence for some time until the priestess was ready for him. He did not know what the results would be, nor did he think on it often, but his temperament slowly evened out.

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